Finn's Birth Story | Part 2

After reading over "Part One" of my birth story again, I realize that I may have made the transfer to the hospital seem uneventful. In reality, it was quite the opposite. Even though it had crossed my mind, I never took the idea seriously until our midwife suggested it. Vaughan and I talked it over and decided to transfer, but even after that, there were tears shed and lots of nerves surrounding the "loss" of our birth plan. Getting an epidural was never on my to-do list. We didn't really discuss the possibility and it was definitely a last resort for us. Having said that, I know that it was the right decision for us at the time. While I have had a hard time accepting the fact that I didn't achieve the natural birth that I'd looked forward to, I know now that if I had tried to continue without any rest, I would not have had the energy to push when the time came. 

We were admitted to our hospital room around 3pm. This was all a blur. I don't remember the walk to the room or changing into my hospital gown. I don't remember my midwife leaving or getting into the hospital bed. I do remember the nurse hooking me up to an IV of fluids (which resulted in me swelling up like a balloon - see photos) and telling me that it may be a while before the anesthesiologist could administer the epidural. This was hard to hear. After making the decision to get the epidural, it was like I couldn't handle the pain for one more second. Labor is just as much mental as it is physical and I think I had mentally checked out. I was at my lowest at this point - I had completely given up on working through the contractions and just laid in bed, still in shock that our baby wasn't going to be born at the birthing center. 

Our nurse, Tracey, was so amazing and helpful. She talked me through all my questions (which were many since I knew nothing about birthing at a hospital) and assured me that the epidural was nothing to worry about. She was very optimistic that I would still be able to achieve a vaginal delivery and I'm so grateful for her kind words and patience with me.

Around 5:20pm, the anesthesiologist arrived and it was time for the epidural. He told us that I had to be extremely still and I was so afraid that I would have a contraction right in the middle of him administering it. I leaned on Vaughan and I guess we had good timing because I didn't have a contraction until I laid back down. To be honest, I don't remember another contraction after that. It kicked in about 10 minutes later.

As crazy as it sounds, I didn't feel like resting after that. First, I wanted to see my family who had been patiently waiting for over 12 hours now and I wanted to update some friends via text. They came in two-by-two and it felt so good to talk to them and hug them all. I remember telling Vaughan that I really needed to update my best friend, Samantha, and he told me that she had been in touch with him and she was in the waiting room! I was so happy to see her and almost started crying when she walked in the room - she had been my biggest supporter and advocate for a natural, unmedicated birth (having had two of her own and another one on the way). When she came in, she gave me the biggest hug and I knew immediately that she was proud of me and just happy that baby and I were doing well. It was so sweet to see her during my labor. I love these photos so much:

During this time, the nurse had to come in every 30 minutes to help me move into a new position. This was so the labor would not stall too much and we could keep everything progressing. Around 7:45pm, Mary Charles, the midwife who would be delivering our little one, arrived. She checked me and I was 6-7cm dilated, still 90% effaced and the baby was at -2 station. This meant that things were definitely progressing, but the baby had a lot further to go down the birth canal. Mary Charles decided that fully breaking my water may help move things along and we then found meconium in the water. This meant that little Baby Thomas had pooped in utero and would need a bit more monitoring when he or she arrived to be sure there was none in baby's lungs. This meant no immediate skin-to-skin (another piece of our birth plan that couldn't happen).

My 12 hour stay in the delivery room of the hospital is a bit of a blur. If not for Cara's recording of our labor, I would have no idea what happened when. But there are a few things she didn't write down that I wanted to share. They're just tidbits, but these are a few random things I remember:

   -On the "welcome" board, we decided to write "Finn or Avery/Juliette" since we didn't know if we were having a boy or girl. This was so exciting and I'll never forget how awesome it was to find out our baby's gender when I delivered. It still gives me butterflies in my stomach when I think about how awesome that surprise was!
   -I got sick a few times. It was a bit less dignified than when I threw up at the birthing center because I couldn't get to the bathroom so someone had to hold a bowl to my face. Vaughan later told me that he noticed on the monitor that when the contractions were really strong was when I would feel nauseous. I thought it was interesting that even though I couldn't feel the pain, my body was still reacting to it.
   -As I got closer to being fully dilated, I started to feel what the nurse referred to as "pressure." To me, it felt like very intense contractions so the word "pressure" seemed a bit misleading. I told her that I thought maybe the epidural was wearing off, but she said it was normal and it meant the baby was moving down. As exciting as it was to hear that, it was very difficult to go from completely pain free, to serious "pressure" all of a sudden. Not to mention it was pretty constant.

At 8:45pm, the pitocin was administered and a contraction monitor was inserted to be sure the contractions were strong enough to help baby move down. I also received another round of antibiotics. Funny how I was so worried about the IV of antibiotics and it ended up being the LEAST of my worries. This baby was already teaching me that I had to give up control and throw the "plan" out the window. By 9:45pm, Vaughan and I were both sleeping (I was told I was snoring) and my contractions had progressed from 9 minutes apart to 4-5 minutes apart. I think we all knew Baby T would be here soon - it was like the excitement and intensity was filling the air in the room. It was quiet and peaceful. I think this photo depicts the feeling of the room so well:

After resting for about 4 hours, our midwife checked me again at 2am. She told me that I was dilated to 9.5cm and said I could try a push to see if it would stretch a bit more. I pushed three times during a contraction and she decided it was time. It was time to push. It was time to finally meet my baby. It was time to find out if we would have a son or a daughter. I think I went into shock. While I'd been working so hard to get to this point, I don't think I really thought about this moment. But I was ready. So I pushed. About three pushes for each contraction. I was completely out of breath after each one, but I was determined to use every ounce of energy I had left. At some point Mary Charles told us that the umbilical cord was wrapped around baby's neck so she cut it and we kept going (we had wanted to let the cord blood finish pulsing and delay cutting it, but this was yet another thing we had to let go of). In a wonderful turn of events, something finally happened quickly and I only pushed for 40 minutes...

At 2:55am on May 21, 2015 my baby arrived into this world. I looked at Vaughan and asked "Is it a boy?!", he said yes and I said "It's Finn! It's our little Finn Harrison." We cried together and hugged and cried. Finn had to be examined to make sure he was breathing alright and didn't have any meconium in his lungs. I could hear him and see him but it felt like ages before the nurse placed him on my chest. When she finally did, it was the best moment in the history of moments. I never wanted it to end. He rested on my chest and I rubbed his back as the craziness settled and the air cleared. I've never been more at peace in my life.

Finn Harrison Thomas   |   7 lbs. 12 oz.   |   21.25 inches long

I will never be the same after this experience. I'm so grateful and thank God everyday for my sweet little Finn. He's funny and happy and chunky and hungry and sleepy and all the most wonderful things. I love this boy more than I knew I could. Sweet baby Finn, you are my favorite little bug and I can't wait to watch you grow. 

Sidenote: Vaughan had to wear a mask in the delivery room because he was sick (the exhaustion only exacerbated it) and the nurses were pretty adamant about protecting little Finn. We later found out that it was only a sinus infection and wasn't contagious, but unfortunately Vaughan missed out on lots of teeny tiny cuddles in the first few days. I felt so awful that he had waited so long and stood right beside me for the entirety of my labor and couldn't love on our little bug the way he wanted to. I guess it's better safe than sorry, though.

*All photos by Amanda of Manda's Memories*

Amanda also put together a video of our birth story! If you'd like to, you can watch it HERE.